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Most of our guests who come to stay at Museflower Retreat & Spa are usually going through some kind of transition in their lives, whether they are saying goodbye to a job, a partner, a loved one, or a phase of life.
Going through a transition is like sailing through uncharted waters. You know what you are leaving behind, but you don’t know how exactly the new land looks like. You’re sailing through this ocean of unknown. It’s exciting yet scary at the same time.
By the time when life calls for a transition, whether it’s expected or not, it is the Universe’s invitation to view the transition as an initiation.
Initiations are not easy to go through. It’s like hiking up a mountain. You realize you’re suddenly using all the muscles that you don’t even know you have. You must muster all your strength and courage for the hike, since you’re already in the middle of it. You can take a break to rest, but you cannot stop the hike. There’s no going back. You must finish what you have started. Yet what exactly lies ahead is still a mystery.
Transition is the stage where we know what we don’t want anymore in our lives, but we are a bit unsure of what we want. Or maybe we do have a vague idea, but we don’t have the complete clear picture yet, like we are walking through a thick fog towards the top of the mountain.
If you find yourself going through a transition with “growing pains”, here are my 7 tried-and-tested tips on myself to support you on how to manage transitions and to hopefully make life a little bit easier for you:
Most of us are notorious on being our worst critic. Perhaps you feel that you need to be more productive. Perhaps you feel that you need to know all the answers right now.
During transitions, it is best to take things super slow. Be very gentle on yourself, and treat yourself like a new born baby. You would never rush a baby to learn how to walk. So stop rushing yourself to make progress, and stop expecting yourself to be perfect.
Acknowledge where you are at your journey now, and allow yourself to accept that it is okay to be not okay. It is okay to not have anything figured out yet.
Trust that this is only a phase, and like everything else in life, it will pass.
When an apple seed drops from the tree, it needs to trust that it will land somewhere on the ground. Once the timing is right, the apple seed will sprout and grow. But before that, it needs to stay in the soil, in the darkness and to be nurtured.
2. Live in a 24-hour container
I first read about the 24-hour container from spiritual author Colette Baron-Reid’s oracle cards, and it makes complete sense.
During transitions, our mind can get obsessed with thinking about how the future looks like, or how we want to hang on to good memories of the past. We become frustrated because the present moment is not where we want to be, yet.
We all want to be free and happy, yet we may feel trapped and bogged down by our frustration, anger, resentment, and grief.
So live your life in a 24-hour container only. Focus on what you can do in the next 24 hours, and that’s it. Stop worrying and overthinking on what to do beyond the 24 hours. You’ll exhaust your mental energy and feel more drained, frustrated and stuck.
Micro step. If all you can manage is to get out of your bed to take a shower in the next 24-hour, that’s progress to celebrate.
If the 24-hour container still feels too long, start with one hour. My Reiki teacher and energy healer Dorinda Rose Berry spoke about in our interview video how she slowly walked out of her grief of losing her child one hour at a time.
What can do you in the next hour? Focus on that.
3. Repeat a mantra or affirmation in your head
If your mind is racing with thoughts, repeating a mantra or affirmation silently or out loud can give something for your mind to focus on. It can be a Sanskrit mantra, a word or even an affirmation such as “I am safe”.
I have shared my personal story here of how repeating Ganesha’s mantra helped me go through the birth of my second son. It was either focusing on the mantra, or allowing my mind run wild like a crazy horse with thoughts that were causing me more anxiety.
I chose to focus on the mantra, and this practice helped me get through some of my most difficult moments in my life.
4. Do something nourishing for your soul
Transitions can come with a lot of “growing pains”, and coming back to the first point of being super gentle on yourself, it is also a time to do something that deeply nourishes you on a soul level. It’s easy to lose focus on what brings us joy, when our attention is solely on the pain that transitions bring us.
Start with listing out at least 10 – 20 activities that nourishes you deeply and makes your heart sing.
Make sure to include a few that are simple enough to do on a daily basis. It may be seeing the smile of your loved ones. It may be cuddling your pets. It may be listening to your favorite artist’s songs, or watching your favorite show on Netflix.
Then choose one that is simple and doable within your 24-hour container and go do it.
Transition is an invitation for us to do something different, and one of the easiest ways is to change your scenery. Of course, make sure to go through the first few tips mentioned above first. Sometimes we don’t feel like moving yet, and that is okay.
When you are ready to do something different, start small. Perhaps it is brushing your teeth with a different hand. Perhaps it is going to work with a different route.
When we shake things up a little bit from our daily routine, it may give us a new perspective on what we are going through, and maybe even clarity on how we can move forward.
Sometimes we need an external confirmation that we are not going crazy in our own head. Picking an oracle card is a simple and easy way to see what message the Universe has for you today.
A simple question of “what is my message today?” is good enough as you shuffle a deck of oracle cards, and pick one card from the deck. Read the meaning of the card in the booklet included, and tune into your own intuition to see what thoughts and feelings arise. If you have time, you can also write down your reflections in a journal. How does the message of the card relate to you today? What is your takeaway?
This is the oracle card deck that my Magnified Healing teacher Margie used and I highly recommend it for beginners: “The Answer is Simple” by Sonia Choquette. This is also one of the card decks we use in our workshops and retreats at Museflower.
7. Do a simple ceremony to give yourself closure
This last tip takes a bit more effort than the previous ones, so make sure you are nourishing yourself plenty first before getting to this step.
Ceremony is a very powerful tool to release our emotions and to invite the sacred back into our ordinary life.
In transitions, we may be saying goodbye to something that no longer helps or serves us, or someone who is no longer here with us. No matter how you feel towards the situation that you are saying goodbye to (the old job, the ex-partner, the old house), there is always a certain degree of grief involved.
To perform your own simple ceremony, use one of the four elements in nature – fire, earth, water and wind.
For example, you can write down things you want to release on a piece of paper and burn it in fire. You can say everything you are feeling out loud to a glass of water, and then pour the water into the drain. Or you can find a stone to represent your grief and bury it in the earth.
When you begin your ceremony, make sure to take it slowly. A ceremony is not something you want to rush through and get it over with. It requires your full presence and awareness.
Observe what wants to arise within you. It is common that emotions may arise in ceremonies, and instead of suppressing them (since that’s what we do most of the time anyway), trust that this is the right time and space for yourself to feel them and let the emotion move through you. Once you allow the emotion to surface, it’s like riding a wave, eventually it will be released and gone.
For more guidance on how to design your own ceremony, I highly recommend reading “The Book of Ceremony – Shamanic Wisdom for Invoking the Sacred in Everyday Life” by Sandra Ingerman. Or if you are coming to Museflower, you can join us at our monthly full moon fire release ceremony to learn how to do it yourself at home.
I hope that these tips can support you to go through any transitions in your life. These tips are all tried and tested on myself. They have helped me move through many challenging transitions in my life.
Has any of the above tips helped you personally?
Do you have any other tips to share on how you manage transitions?
Feel free to share with me here, I’d love to hear from you.
Time: 10.30am – 12pm Thailand time
What is this Workshop about?
In my free online Mantra Meditation workshop, you will learn how to meditate and chant with a mantra. Mantra is a Sanskrit word that means “tool of the mind and a sacred formula”, and it is a very easy-to-use tool that can help you go through any transitions.
How can this online workshop help you?
- Feel more grounded and calm with mantra meditation
- Find the inner stillness within you
- Listen to your inner wisdom
- Be more confident in expressing your voice
- Immerse in the joy and bliss of singing
- Introduction to ONE mantra that can you go through transition (yes – Ganesha’s mantra)
- Practice japa together (repeating the mantra for 108 times and sit in meditation)
- Time for journaling
- Group sharing
- Chanting mantra for fun
No previous experience with chanting or meditation is required. This free workshop is perfect for beginners in meditation, and anyone who would like to explore the power of mantra.