Dealing With Change Is Scary: 3 Tips To Accept Change With Grace

By Tania Ho
Feb 26, 2019


Dealing with a change and the unknown is a scary thing, isn’t it?

Recently, I have noticed many people are going through major changes in their lives.

Some of these changes stemmed from a deep sense of knowing. A friend of mine felt called by the ocean and has decided to move to Phuket after living in Chiang Rai for many years. My healing teacher received a clear message that it was time to slowly transition out from managing her healing center business in order for her to focus on teaching and writing.

Some changes may be less voluntary, so to speak. Another friend has to leave her current job as the organization is restructuring. I’ve also met a few guests who are either thinking to leave their jobs, or are leaving and don’t know what to do in the future.

What to do when we are faced with a change inevitably? The change may begin as a tiny nudge from our heart, and the voice starts to get louder and louder until our mind can’t ignore it anymore. Or the change may be sparked by external circumstances and we are pushed to respond and make a decision all of a sudden.

I remember when I quit my job as a spa manager 8 years ago. A seed was planted in my mind first when my dad passed away. Life was short, and I wanted to do things that I loved and enjoyed. Then the management team at the resort started to change. The general manager was leaving, and so were a few other senior managers. I thought to myself, maybe it was time for me to leave too.

I finally decided that I would resign on my birthday that year, 6 months after my dad passed away. I still remember that I was so nervous telling my boss my decision that my voice was literally shaking.

Even though it was sad to leave my spa team, I was looking forward to travel and go back to HK to see my friends and family.

Luckily I had savings from my job so I didn’t have any urgent financial worries. I decided to take a couple courses that really interested me, one was a Bach’s flower essence practitioner course.

This was also when I first started attending retreats, and seeking healing for myself physically and emotionally. I also traveled with my mom, so I could spend more time with her and visited countries we’ve always wanted to go.

At the same time, I was worried about what I would do for a living in the future. I knew what I didn’t want to do, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do. There were so many possibilities, but nothing really called out to my heart. I felt lost in the sea of infinite possibilities.

What did I do? I followed my heart’s calling and attended a retreat in Chiang Rai, even though the same teacher was offering the same workshop in Hong Kong. I wanted to go back to Chiang Rai since I really liked the retreat experience the first time I was there. That was when I met ex-business partner and started discussing the possibility of opening a retreat center together in Chiang Rai.

Fast forward today, I think I am now slightly better equipped with handling change. I can be more at ease, knowing that the Universe has my back and I always receive what I need.

Changes do not need to be as scary as we imagine. Below I’d like to share three of my tips on accepting change with grace:

1 – Focus on what to look forward to

Change can be scary sometimes, especially when it feels like our entire world that is known to us is falling apart. It feels like sometimes we are staring into a blank space and since we are so good at worrying, we start to think of the worst-case scenarios. What if this and what if that?

Instead of focusing on the worst-case scenarios, try focus on what you can look forward to with this new change to come. Perhaps with losing or quitting a job, you can finally have the time to travel, attend the courses you’ve always wanted to take, or just to finally have some time for yourself.

Write down a list of things you can look forward to with this new change coming. And whenever you start to feel distressed again, use this list to remind yourself of the good that comes with change.

2 – Take it one step at a time

As human beings, we love control as it makes us feel safe and secure in our life. We love to have everything figured out as much as possible. We want to know what the endgame is, and all the steps to get to the final destination.

But Life doesn’t work like this, does it? I have learned over the past years of managing Museflower that Life certainly throws curveballs at you all the time. When I planned for one thing to happen, my life would be thrown off completely by an unexpected news and it felt like I was back to square one.

But I wasn’t back at square one. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned from pregnancy and motherhood is to take it one step at a time.  Pregnancy and motherhood are so unique for each woman that no matter how much you read about it, it’s still a huge unknown pretty much on a daily basis.

So just take it one step at a time. How do I know what step to take? Listen to your heart and your soul’s voice. Deep inside, you know. Be patient. Sometimes that one step is to wait, instead of doing something.

Change is such a great opportunity for us to embrace the unknown and to tune into our feminine energy, to learn to be receptive and allow things to unfold, to listen to our intuition and emotions, instead of pushing to make things happen.

 3 – Have faith

Having faith in yourself and in the Universe, is the most important tip that I can share.  What I mean by having faith in yourself is to trust your inner wisdom and your soul’s voice.

In periods of changes, there definitely will be doubts arising. What if I made the wrong decision? What if I couldn’t get a better job than my current one? What if I was not good enough to do this?

I can’t tell you how many times I have doubted myself and felt like a failure since I started Museflower and since I became a mom. I’ve lost count.

The doubt seemed to be reinforced when the response was not what I expected. Did I make the right decision?

What got me through every time when I doubted myself, was to listen to my intuition within. Sometimes I had to patient and wait. Take it one baby step at a time. And then the answer would come at the most unexpected moment or way.

I followed my intuition and shared my recent doubts with a guest, though it was scary to admit them. Her response just struck me straight to the heart, and boom, my doubts were gone. She told me, other peoples’ choices do not define my ability.

I trust that the Universe always gives me what I need. I remind myself that I know what my gift and my purpose on Earth are. These answers come from a deeper sense of knowing, not because anyone has told me so.

When you can come through your doubts, you will find your faith in trusting your inner wisdom and the Universe grow stronger.